Ariana Orvell writes:

In the 2nd century CE, in the sunset of his life, the Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius began recording meditations on how he had lived. The questions he asked himself are the same ones many of us find ourselves asking today: how does a person live a meaningful life? How does one find resilience in the face of suffering? What does it mean to be happy?

Aurelius did not intend for Meditations to be read by others, allowing us a privileged tour through the dialogue he had with himself. Although there are recurring themes, the text reads as a series of standalone entries that vary in length from a mere sentence or two to a paragraph. In these fragments, Aurelius captured profound kernels of wisdom, many of which have been borne out by contemporary psychological research. But in addition to capturing Marcus Aurelius’ insightful musings, Meditations (as translated to English from the original Greek) reveals something unusual about the man himself: his ability to shift perspective as he grappled with big ideas.

At times, Aurelius’ thoughts reflected a first-person perspective, indexed through his use of the first-person singular pronoun ‘I’. At other times, however, he used ‘we’, expressing ideas that applied not just to him, but to humankind, collectively (eg, ‘Our life is a warfare, and a mere pilgrimage’). In other entries, he switched again, using the second-person singular pronoun (translated either as ‘you’ or as the archaic ‘thou’). Rather than being used to address the reader (remember he didn’t have a reader in mind), Aurelius’ use of second-person pronouns reflected his tendency to consider his life as if he were in dialogue with himself – that is, addressing himself directly.

Through adopting this more distanced self-perspective, Aurelius was able to recognise that his feelings of anguish were temporary
In my research, I’ve studied how subtle linguistic shifts, such as these, can powerfully alter the content of our thoughts, and subsequently change the way we feel. For this reason, I was particularly struck by the quote below, in which Aurelius gives himself advice – in the second person – on how to quiet the roaring, inner seas of the mind which, untamed, can lead a person to feel as if they are drowning:

Let not thy mind wander up and down, and heap together in her thoughts the many troubles and grievous calamities which thou art as subject unto as any other. But as everything in particular doth happen, put this question unto thyself, and say: What is it that in this present matter, seems unto thee so intolerable? [emphasis added] For thou wilt be ashamed to confess it. Then upon this presently call to mind, that neither that which is future, nor that which is past can hurt thee; but that only which is present. (And that also is much lessened, if thou dost lightly circumscribe it:) and then check thy mind if for so little a while, (a mere instant), it cannot hold out with patience.

Here, Aurelius writes of the power that people have over their own thoughts. He provides the following astute advice: ask yourself (roughly), ‘What is upsetting you at this moment?’ The phrasing is paramount – he did not write: ‘What is upsetting me?’ Rather, he advised asking himself this question from the perspective of an outsider, using the second-person singular pronoun. Arguably, through adopting this more distanced self-perspective, Aurelius was able to recognise that his feelings of anguish were temporary.

This process of reflecting on one’s self using parts of speech that are typically used to refer to other people – ie, second- or third-person pronouns, or even one’s own name – is distanced self-talk. A mounting body of research by psychologists suggests that engaging in distanced self-talk can help us to regulate our negative thoughts and emotions in a range of situations – from working through a painful past experience to performing on a stressful upcoming task. [Continue reading…]